I officially hit my 6 month anniversary of being 40 today. Over the last 6 months, I have taken the time to reflect on where I have been and where I would like to go. In reflecting on where I have been, I thought about where I was when I was 20. When I turned 20, I was already serving my country in the United States Navy, enrolled in university courses, and trying to balance a rather busy social life. Looking back, I wish there some things I knew to help me navigate my 20’s better. There was quite a bit of making mistakes along the way, and I’d like to think I learned a lot from those mistakes. However, I wish I knew more, back then, to set me up for success going into my 30’s and 40’s.

Since your twenties are such a critical time, I thought I would share 20 things I wish I knew when I turned 20, to advise young women who are just starting their lives about how to navigate your twenties successfully.

1. Take Your Finances Seriously

This is something I cannot stress enough. Take the time to learn about budgeting, saving, credit scores, investing and buying a house. If you can buy your first house before 25 DO IT. I started paying attention to my money way too late in my thirties. Doing this hindered me from accomplishing a lot. So it is never too early to start being wise with your money.

2. Take Care of Your Body

I have struggled with my weight since the age of 12. I wish my childhood would have afforded me the option to be more active. So my recommendation is the sooner you start to eat right and move your body, the easier it will get later on in life. Don’t wait until something is wrong to incorporate more greens and fruit in your diet. Drink plenty of water and go for a walk every other day at least. You only get one body. Treat it as a temple. Keep it happy because as we age, it only gets harder to do.

3. Continuously Educate Yourself

Something I did quite a bit in my 20’s but once parenthood kicked in I wasn’t able to do so, Read. Listen to podcasts and motivational speeches. Find something/someone that inspires you and learn from them. Get a mentor. Learn how to change a tire and how to cook. Not everything you learn will be in a school setting.

4. Be Your Own Bestfriend

People will disappoint you, and significant others will break your heart. It is your responsibility to hold your head up high, know your worth, and establish your own support system.

5. Choose Your Friends Wisely

One of my many motto’s in life “Your vibe is your tribe!”. The company you keep really does reflect on your character. At the start of my twenties, I hung out with the crowd who did the most partying. There was always a lot of unnecessary drama, and I honestly couldn’t even tell you where any of those people are now. So a rule of thumb is to make sure you are surrounding yourself with people who will bring out the best in you. It is so important, especially at a young age when you’re so impressionable.

6. Advocate For Yourself

First and foremost, know your worth and add tax! Don’t settle for just anything or anybody! Start living your life by focusing on your goals.

7. Do Not Ignore Your Mental Health

Mental health is as equally important as your physical health. Remember to do more of what makes you happy and remember that it is okay not to be okay all the time. Acknowledge your feelings. If you’re happy great. If you’re sad that’s okay to! Shit happens, life goes on, but nothing will ever be the end of the world. PERIOD.

8. Go Outside Your Comfort Zone

By the time I was 20 I had visited every continent except for Antarctica thanks to my time in the Navy. I can tell you what McDonald’s taste like in all of those places. Why? Because I was too scared to try new foods. Looking back I am so upset that I missed out on wine in Spain, authentic Italian food, and Turkish delicacies. So be adventurous! Do things you are scared to do, you might surprise yourself! Try new foods, visit new places, do something crazy once in a while.

9. Learn to Be OK Being Alone

Every now and then, make some time for yourself. Practice self-care. Being comfortable with being alone is something that not everyone enjoys, but it is a great way to learn more about yourself. Additionally, get to know yourself. Learn what you like and don’t like. It makes it easier to advocate for yourself later on down the line.

10. Meet Different People

Mingle with people from different social backgrounds, all races and religions. This is one of the best ways to learn about people from places other than your own. I’ve met some of the most amazing people by doing this.

11. Turn Your Goals Into Plans

One thing I have always been is a go getter. With that being said, if you want something bad enough, you have to go out there and get it. Work hard, bust your ass. GO GET IT GIRL! Want a new car? Save like your life depends on it. Want to have a comfortable retirement? Work hard and start investing each month. You can do anything you set your mind to.

12. Haters Gonna Hate

Throughout your life, there will be people who do not like you for whatever reason, and that’s fine. Their opinion of you does not take anything away from who you are. Likewise, you do not have to like everyone. It’s ok if personalities clash or if someone is not your cup of tea.

13. You Don’t Have To Have A Large Tribe

This is a perfect segway from the last paragraph. You do not have to be super popular to be happy and content. Truly, you don’t. All it takes are a select few in your tribe who believe in you and let you be 100% yourself. Those are the ones who have your back no matter what.

14. Do Not Burn Bridges

I am a firm believer in karma. Be humble baby girl. You never know when you will need a person to vouch for you. Whether it is someone at your job or your landlord, be nice to them, stay respectful, and don’t give them a reason to speak negatively about you when asked. PERIOD!

15. You Don’t Have To Make It Rain Every Weekend

Live below your means. It will help you get financial freedom. Learn where you can cut costs and don’t blow your whole paycheck on things that won’t matter down the road like the latest Prada purse or Air Jordans.

16. Always Be Aware Of Your Surroundings

This is something I did not do. I was footloose and fancy free out in them streets! If you are going out at night, know where you are at all times, have someone checking up on you, and don’t trust everyone you meet. Share your location, check in with someone close. Be careful with dating online. With sex trafficking at an all time high, terrible things can happen to young women, and if you can take any extra precautions to make sure you get home safely, take them. You are not being extra or lame if you’re prepared for the worst, it can actually save your life. PERIOD

17. Be On Time

Something I learned in the navy: Early is on time, On time is late. If people are continually late, it is not “cute”. It is annoying and disrespectful. Learn how to leave the house early in order to arrive on time. If your issue is getting ready, start getting ready earlier! This goes for both professional and personal aspects of your life.

18. Learn Another Language

Another thing I wish I had taken seriously. I took two years of french and can only say hello and tell you my name. Take the time to learn another language, especially if you like to travel. Learn basic phrases like “Hello”, “Thank you”, “Where is the bathroom?”and “Good-bye” in common languages like French, Spanish or German. You never know where this may be beneficial for you.

19. Spend Time With Your Family

Call your parents and other close relatives regularly to check up on them. Visit your grandparents every once in a while just because. Life is short, you never know when the last time you’re going to see them will be. Create the memories while you can.

20. Have Fun

I said it before, life is short! Live, Laugh, Love. Don’t be hard on yourself. Try new things. Your twenties are an amazing time make the most out of it.

Now that you’ve read what some of my lessons learned are from my twenties, comment below with what you learned looking back, or how this blog post helped you!